Conditional Credibility: How to Lead When You’re Always Being Questioned
A few years ago, during a discussion about budgeting for a new project, I once had a colleague who did not believe me when I gave her an estimate to a price for a given service, only to shout surprised « Oh this is exactly the amount you announced » when the service provider shared his quote.
How frustrating and tiring is it to be doubted by default?
You can display a strong track record, proven expertise, and tangible results - and yet people still welcome you and your proposal with a laconic: ”Are you sure?”
They come to you, in the first place, because they were looking for an expert - someone they could trust to relieve them of the responsibility of making decisions on topics they don’t fully comprehend. Yet, when it is time for the final review and approval, they can’t help it but question you.
As a female freelancer, I am dismayed to report that even after working for 15 years in my field, I often - too often - deal with clients and coworkers who simply don’t believe me or my recommendations. I haven’t even done something to betray their trust, and yet, they won’t follow my lead. Or only do so after an opinionated fight.
It used to feed my impostor syndrome sending me into a neurotic loop of self-doubt that could last days or even weeks. But, after many, many hours analyzing KPIs, feedback and factual outcomes, I realize that no matter how well I perform, some people will never trust me.
There are a few reasons for this - reasons which can be especially upsetting for someone who is objectively trying to do their best and who doesn’t have strong judgement over others’ expertise. Unfortunately, many people aren’t even aware of their preconceived opinions.
Of course, not every question is rooted in bias - some are the sign of engaged collaboration and genuine attempt to understand better. The trick is learning to tell the difference.
Explanation #1: A societal bias: women’s legitimacy is often questioned
As women, we could answer a question by citing a study, sharing a personal experience, or pointing to a concrete result we’ve achieved - and still get asked, “Are you sure?” Whereas the same point, made by a man or someone who looks more “senior,” probably wouldn’t be challenged. This is known as the “conditional credibility syndrome”, often experienced by women or atypical profiles: we have to prove ourselves, where others are believed by default.
Explanation #2: Your communication style may come across as too accessible (which, paradoxically, can sometimes undermine perceived authority)
You have a warm, approachable presence, and you’ve mastered the art of making things understandable (which is what great communicators do!). But some people confuse clarity with a lack of depth - as if being readable makes you seem “less complex,” and therefore “less expert.”
It’s absurd, I know! But very real.
Some people expect “experts” to be opaque, full of jargon, or hierarchical. We’re the opposite - so sometimes we need to frame our authority more clearly, without justifying ourselves.
Explanation #3: Distorting mirror effect: calm confidence can unsettle or disorient some people
Paradoxically, your calm confidence - your ability to be precise without being aggressive - can disturb or make people doubt, especially those who expect authority to show up in dominant forms (voice, posture, tone, verticality). Unfortunately, in 2025, this is often a cultural misunderstanding of female leadership that many still believe, especially when it’s horizontal, creative, and non-aggressive.
Explanation #4: The communication and image sector (speaking from my field but I am sure it is experienced in others too!) is one where expertise is often downplayed
Ask your peers! It’s a field where everyone thinks they have an informed opinion, because “everyone communicates” - just like in education or politics. There’s a sort of “democratization of expertise” in this sector, which can make some people think they’re entitled to challenge our knowledge, even without equivalent skills and years of experience.
So what should we do to keep on leading without losing our minds and precious energy?
We must own our expertise without defending it. We have nothing to prove, but we can state things with confidence and structure:
“This is something I’ve worked on several times in rolling out a social media plan, so yes - I can confirm that this is the best approach in this context.”
It is the difference between to explain and to recount: “embodied experience”. It works because you’re not theorizing, you’re embodying. It’s a lived experience, not just an opinion.
Don’t waste time debating whether it’s fair. It’s not, but there is no way around for now so introduce your credentials early: weave in your experience or past results subtly before diving into analysis. “Out of the dozen campaigns I’ve led, this lever proved decisive every time.”
You can also insert expertise without pitching it, the “implicit reference.”
“This is a technique I use regularly in repositioning strategies. It helps reorganize internal perception and build a coherent external narrative.”
It is powerful because you position your know-how as a familiar tool. It’s fluid, professional, natural. You are acting, not performing.
When someone challenges you, reframe authority.
“Yes, I’m sure. It’s not a gut feeling - it’s a method I’ve tested in several projects. It works, provided the framework is clearly set.”
It’s effective because you calmly assert yourself. You don’t step into their doubt - you rise above it by reaffirming your frame of reference.
Set your authority from the start, the “assertive intro”
“I’ve been working on these issues for over 15 years, supporting leaders, brands, and NGOs. What I’m sharing here is the result of that experience - and of my strategic convictions.”
Use it when doing a Webinar, pitch, panel, podcast… or even at the beginning of a LinkedIn post!
Finally, seek environments where your voice is naturally respected, and nurture those. There is no pride in endlessly fighting to be recognized by those who never will, work with you and not against you, and with people who have no will into recognizing your worth. You can also create your own spaces to share - through masterclasses, workshops, podcasts or expert interviews.
The frustrating truth is that some people may never recognize your expertise - but you don’t owe them your energy. Spend it where your voice builds momentum, not resentment.
The best response to conditional credibility is outright confidence - rooted in results, resilience, and the refusal to shrink to fit someone else’s limited view.
The world is vast - and full of people who will value your voice. Find the right team, and together you’ll create meaningful projects, reach your goals, and go far beyond.